So, it feels like winter. It's not technically winter for a few more days, but I tend to base the seasons by my wardrobe decisions. When I can finally unpack my 40 billion scarves and ten pairs of fingerless gloves, it's winter time. (I have a thing for scarves and fingerless gloves.)
Winter, obviously, means snow. There are a lot of things I love about snow. Sometimes I am in awe seeing what a few inches of white can do. I love how during a snowstorm it can be 3:00 AM and it will still be a little bit light outside. I love how the earth will sometimes be completely silent if snow is falling. Stepping out on the porch and not hearing a thing can be the best sound in the world. Snow on tree branches and balanced on fence posts? I love it.
However.
There are a great many things I despise about winter. Scraping off my windshield, frozen fingers, wet pant legs, being cold in general...
And don't even get me started about driving in the snow. Not only do I drive an un-4 wheel drive car, but put some snow on the roads and everyone thinks they can drive like an idiot.
I think we all remember what happened last year. I'm bound and determined not to let THAT happen again.
Which brings me to my next point. Last Sunday, the City of Orem had 29 traffic accidents in 4 hours. I hate driving to work in a blizzard, knowing my next 10 hours are going to be hell and not being able to do a thing about it.
Now, I hate being judgemental, but it's things like this, this, and this that make me want to move to Aruba. It puts me in a bad mood to see a house that looks like it was barfed on by the Ghost of Christmas Lights Past. I am so picky about what makes good Christmas lights, I should start a club. Only a select few are allowed to join.
Sam's Exclusive I-Have-Christmas-Lights-That-Aren't-Tacky Club.
~No icicle lights
~No flashing lights
~No multi-colored lights
~No multi-colored, flashing, icicle lights
~No inflatable lawn ornaments
~No light-up deer that are pretending to eat your grass
~No giant manger scenes
~White lights on houses ONLY, preferably large bulbs
~Colored lights on trees allowed ONLY if the whole strand is the same color
~Wreaths are allowed on doors and windows, can be lit with white lights
These are the basic rules. Any other questions will be dealt with on a case by case basis. Request to join the club should include color photos of your home from at least five angles and a two page essay explaining why you think you deserve to be accepted.
5 comments:
I love this post! Such beautiful words and I agree with EVERYTHING on your I-Have-Christmas-Lights-That-Aren't-Tacky Club list.
Can we plan a sledding trip? Melissa wants to go, and we're trying to convince Ben.
Dang. Knocked out of contention by rule #1! At least they don't blink!
Even better...I didn't have to put them up this year.
Speaking of putting up lights, when are you going to post a photo of the Christmas lights on YOUR house? Hmmm?
Sheesh, you take after your mother. However, she looked over the list and said she'd allow some of the items that you marked as "tacky".
Just as I always say to your mother, who is too obsessed with B&W photos, "Hey, honey, they have color now." I'll say the same thing to you, "Hey, they have colored lights now."
Now, me? I don't want to be in your stinking club. As soon as I get rid of my wife, I'll be putting up multi-colored, blinking lights. And I'll do it in July, when it's warm outside. So, there! Take that!
Sam, how come you never posted any photos of examples of Christmas light displays that you DO like? Its only January, but now you've already got something on your Christmas 2008 to-do list!
You know? I actually thought about it.
Why didn't I? It's simple really. It's cold outside. I don't like being cold.
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