December 19, 2008

Mission accomplished. Thanks TaiPan and Target.

Not the pillow. I forgot to move that.
Also, there was another green one, but Chloe stole it already.

December 10, 2008

So, my family has had the same Christmas stockings for as long as I can remember. They're cute. And crafty. And patchwork-y. They've served the Johnsons well.
(I did make one in my junior high sewing class and it made its way into the lineup, but other than that, they've all been the same.)

Unfortunately, the last few years have been some rough ones. I think the poor things are on their last leg. Hanging on by a thread if you will.
(Pun totally intended.)


Christmas stockings with gaping holes don't tend to hold their stuffers too well. I know from experience.

So, although miserably painful to ditch them after so many Christmases, I've taken it upon myself to be the Johnson Family Christmas Stocking Liaison. Or maybe Ambassador? Explorer? Go-and-Find-er?
It is my job to find us some new Christmas stockings this year. They have to be cute and they can't be cheap and fall apart on us. I need something that's going to last us for at least 22 years. (I know, I know. It's a tall order.)
Problem is...I've never bought a Christmas stocking before, so I haven't the faintest idea where to shop for them. And my old standby for everything else (Walmart) isn't going to cut it for this task.

So. I need ideas, people. Help a girl out. It is up to me to make Christmas dreams come true for the whole Johnson crew. (Well, except for Taylor since he won't get to see his stocking this year.)
Stores, boutiques, online...whatever. They just have to be here by Christmas. And I have to like them. And be able to afford them.

December 09, 2008


There is a little movement going around the photography world called Cans For Comments, and we are more than happy to jump on the bandwagon!!

It’s simple. You comment. We donate a can or non-perishable item to a local food bank for every comment received. You make us feel warm, fuzzy and loved, and someone less fortunate gets to eat. Win-win, no? So comment long, comment short, comment often or only once…just do it! More and more we are hearing of food shelters coming up short this season. This is such a simple way to do a little for someone else! (Oh, and it’s going on for the next 7 days.)

SOOOOO, alls you have to do is pop on over to my photography blog ( and leave us a comment. Or two. Or ten. Remember, EVERY SINGLE COMMENT=1 can o' food for the food bank.

So go nuts. It doesn't cost you a thing!

December 08, 2008

So...I hope you've seen this movie.

If not, I highly recommend watching it sometime this month. Holy childhood memories. Seriously.
However, I must warn you. This movie is a little misleading. You might walk away with the impression that a mouse is a cute, cuddly creature all full of Christmas Spirit.
You'd be wrong.

Let's take a trip to reality. My bathroom has been invaded by this guy:

Little mouse scared the bejeebles out of me a few nights ago. He thought it would be cool to squeeze under the bathroom door and scamper across the floor. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. He didn't even TRY to hide or be sneaky. That is not cool.

I'm actually quite impressed with myself. I didn't scream and wake people up. I didn't leap onto the counter and hunker down til morning. I didn't rip the wall apart in a murderous frenzy. I DID have to muffle a squeal and try to convince myself I wasn't hallucinating, and I had to pee in the other bathroom for a few days, but I'm proud of myself for not panicking. (Read: FA-REEK out)

Good ol' roomie pimped out the whole house with mouse-busting glue traps and PB. (Thanks Lace!)

Mice aren't that smart, I guess. It sure didn't take him long to get all good and stuck. Unfortunately for him, being stuck to a glue trap in my bathroom earns you a one way ticket to the inside of a Walmart bag.
So, he either managed to free himself from his sticky prison, chew through the plastic bag, escape from the giant dumpster, and make his way to freedom...or he froze to death.
Either way, he's out of my bathroom. That's all I really care about.

[DISCLAIMER: I KNOW these are horrible, awful, disgusting, I-can't-believe-you-call-yourself-a-photographer photos. I know that. It was 5 am. I was freaking out at the prospect of picking up a live mouse that could potentially kill me. I was freezing cold and dead tired. I blame the cell phone camera.
I'm compensating by posting three, very boringly similar photos. Just use your imagination and I'm sure you can get the picture.]

In other news, here is my shameless Christmas present to you all:

November 30, 2008

Dear all of you Hess descendants,

If you didn't see my guest post on Jayson and Celeste's blog, you should pop on over there and read it.
You won't regret it.
It's full of brand new baby cuteness like this:

I promise.

November 29, 2008

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. To prove to you that I'm not dead, may I present:


Starting off the randomness is this beautiful photo of me kicking it at work. Despite what this shameless, cell phone self-portrait would imply, my job is not boring.
Also, I love my turquoise headset.
And holding out my pinky.

Recently, and I don't know when exactly, and it doesn't really matter, and this is turning into the worst run-on sentence in history, but sometime recently, my odometer read 100100. I thought that was a cool number.
I made a right turn after taking this photo. Don't worry. I was stopped when I took it.

I don't know if I should be proud or embarrassed, but I tend to spend more time with my 15 year old brother and 13 year old sister these days than I do with people my own age.
Part of this is due to my nocturnal lifestyle. It's hard to meet people at 4:00 am.
Besides. Your siblings should be your best friends, right? Check.
On the downside, things can get expensive for me. They don't have jobs. They don't have any money. So, whenever we do ANYTHING, I always foot the bill. Guys, is this what dating is like for you?

Spotted at my local gas station. I thought it was pretty ironic considering gas station workers often tend to hate their jobs and therefore, don't really give a crap about providing good service.
Dear nameless gas station worker,
I'll hang up my phone as soon as you commit to make my gas station experience the best it can be.

And lastly, reason #286 why I love America: The Jesus Barbie.
By pressing the Holy Button I estimate to be replacing the Son of God's L2 verterbrae, I was quoted a verse from Mark something. It was lovely.
And spiritual.
Right in the middle of Walmart.

And that, boys and girls, concludes the first installment of "THE BLOG O' RANDOM PHOTOS I FOUND ON MY CAMERA PHONE." Stay tuned for version two. Sometime in the near-ish future. I hope...

November 04, 2008

October 29, 2008

Dear poor neglected blog,

It's not you, it's me. I really mean that. You've been wonderful and supportive. I've just needed some space. A little "me time", if you will.

I promise I'm still alive and kicking. See? Here's a photo of me. (After all, what are you besides a place for me to post photos of myself?)

Now, I'm not saying this to be mean, but I think you ought to know. During our time apart, I haven't thought about you very much. I know it's painful for you to hear that I've forgotten about you, but I mean it when I say that I could never forget you in my heart.

I've just been so freaking busy!! Work and photos and work and photos...
(And yet, ironically, my busy-ness hasn't really been that interesting. Nothing to blog about...)

I hope to get our relationship back on track. You'll have to be patient, because it might be slow going. But I promise I'm working on it. We might consider couples therapy...

In the meantime, know that I still love you and you will always be my one and only blog.
(Except for this one. But it's just business. There's NOTHING going on between us. I swear.)

So please, hang in there with me. We're great together and I know we can have a beautiful relationship again.


September 15, 2008

Happy Birthday, Sophie!

You're HOW old?

Oh yes, that's right.

Eight is GREAT!!

Happy Birthday, Sophie. We love you!

August 30, 2008

Aubrey and I are helping here.