Samantha: the blog

ADVENTURES IN THE ER--SOME THINGS I KNOW

1. No matter how hard you fight, you're going to get stuck with needles. More than once. Just accept it.

2. Nurses have no qualms about stripping your clothes off in front of 20 people.

3. If you're not making a lot of sense, expect everyone to yell in your ears in the hopes that you'll understand.

4. Hospitals are freezing and uncomfortable, yet the blankets they give you have the thickness of a kleenex and the softness of a pumice stone.

5. If at all possible, use the bathroom before something bad happens to you, because you never know when your next chance will be.

6. It is very likely that the most painful part of your experience will be peeling off all the tape and probes and stickers they put all over you.

7. Trying to stay covered up while wearing one of those gowns is like trying to paint your fingernails while riding a horse. It doesn't happen.

8. An ambulance is not a smooth ride.

9. Every hour spent waiting is directly proportional to the number of minutes you'll spend actually talking to a doctor.
(Example: 4 hours waiting= 4 minutes with the doctor.)

10. You'll be able to hear every word of the "I think you have a narcotics problem, Ma'am" conversation across the hall, so you're praying for good news when they come to talk to you.



Ok, explanation.
Yes, I passed out at a gas station.
Yes, I rode in an ambulance.
Yes, I spent the evening in the ER.
No, I'm not dying.
No, I don't have a brain tumor.
No, they have no idea why.
Yes, I'm just fine.