I'm not sure I can do this much longer. I've never been so tired in my entire life. It's not like, Oh I'm so tired today. It's a constant exhaustion.
I swear I sleep ten hours a day, but I wake up even more tired than I was when I went to sleep.
It's a vicious, awful, terrible cycle. I feel like I'm dying very, verrry slowly.
I'm starting to get a little bitter about it. I never see the light of day. I never get normal contact with other people. The ONLY things I can usually do with myself is catch a late movie or go to Walmart. (Story of my life...)
I'm counting down. Only 14 more workdays of graveyards. Sigh...

So much for trying to avoid another one of these.
Ok, so it wasn't quite the same. I'm just kind of confused. I've managed to make it the past 20 years without spending any time in a hospital. (Not counting my birth of course.)
But two ER visits in a month? What's up with that?
This morning starts out wonderfully. Waking up to the sounds of new fallen snow, hot, steamy shower, watching ER (the tv show, not the place), peacefully doing my makeup and blowdrying my hair....
Fast forward an hour later. My good hair day is now plastered with wet slush, my shoes are soaking wet, my car is damaged, my thumb is swelling, and my mouth is swearing.
I was able to navigate the impassable, unplowed roads all the way to work....almost.
Literally one block from work, Mr. Geo Prizm decides to have a spin out.
So here I go a-sliding into the curb.
Oh look, now I'm stuck in the snow.
Ten minutes later, I'm still stuck and very cold.
Hooray, some nice guy stopped to help me.
Well, he can't get it unstuck either.
Oh good, he'll get his truck and tow rope.
Yay, it's working. We're moving.
Almost there.
Almost there.
Augh!!
Curb, tires, steering wheel turning.
Thumb getting whacked by steering wheel.
Thumb swelling, pain shooting.
Thanking nice guy. Holding back tears.
So here I sit, several hours and pain pills later.
My car is parked, undrivable, in the parking lot and my thumb looks like this.

So off I go to get an x-ray. Luckily it's not broken. Just a possible torn ligament, as if thats good news.
Needless to say, it's been less than a peachy day.
I'm going home to have a Lortab.

First of all, lets have a hoo-rah for 50 posts! Yay.
I've had quite the experiences with man's best friend this week.
Sad news. My boyfriend Bowen's puppy Roxy died. She got hit by a car. Sniff.
So I went over to his house last night to give him a big hug and took him out for ice cream.
Later that night, we had a little "funeral" for Roxy. It broke my heart to see Bowen so sad without his puppy. I remember when my rat Squeaks died. It was awful.
So, I got home and was feeling clingy towards my puppy, Cooper. I usually don't ever let him sleep in my room, but I decided to let him last night.
Big mistake.
Now, Cooper is a house trained dog. I never worry about him. But for some unknown reason, he chose last night to have an "accident."
So I had a rude awakening at about 3:30 this morning. It was not pleasant.
An hour of scrubbing up doggy mess later, I'm trying to decide if it was worth it to have my puppy still alive. Cause I almost killed him.

ADVENTURES IN THE ER--SOME THINGS I KNOW

1. No matter how hard you fight, you're going to get stuck with needles. More than once. Just accept it.

2. Nurses have no qualms about stripping your clothes off in front of 20 people.

3. If you're not making a lot of sense, expect everyone to yell in your ears in the hopes that you'll understand.

4. Hospitals are freezing and uncomfortable, yet the blankets they give you have the thickness of a kleenex and the softness of a pumice stone.

5. If at all possible, use the bathroom before something bad happens to you, because you never know when your next chance will be.

6. It is very likely that the most painful part of your experience will be peeling off all the tape and probes and stickers they put all over you.

7. Trying to stay covered up while wearing one of those gowns is like trying to paint your fingernails while riding a horse. It doesn't happen.

8. An ambulance is not a smooth ride.

9. Every hour spent waiting is directly proportional to the number of minutes you'll spend actually talking to a doctor.
(Example: 4 hours waiting= 4 minutes with the doctor.)

10. You'll be able to hear every word of the "I think you have a narcotics problem, Ma'am" conversation across the hall, so you're praying for good news when they come to talk to you.



Ok, explanation.
Yes, I passed out at a gas station.
Yes, I rode in an ambulance.
Yes, I spent the evening in the ER.
No, I'm not dying.
No, I don't have a brain tumor.
No, they have no idea why.
Yes, I'm just fine.

Not such a bright idea.
Changing a really old lightbulb with bare hands.
You know, the kind that is so corroded and rusty, you can't pull it out with pliers let alone your fingers?
Ya. Don't do that.
I went to be a tough, do-it-myself, fix-er-upper last night and change the burnt out turn signal light on my car.
Needless to say, I spent the night picking glass shards out of my fingers and trying to sweep the rest of them off the garage floor.
Not fun.

I'm feeling a little blue today and I'm not sure why. I've been doing really good for awhile, which is sadly unusual for me. But I'm not complaining. More ups than downs is rather nice. I think I'll keep it up.
But the downs were bound to catch up with me sooner or later.
I really get irritated when I feel sad for no good reason. But I just do. I just get sad sometimes. I'm working on it though.
I think deep down, I have an idea as to why I'm feeling this way, but there's a 94.6% chance that it's irrational thinking, so I don't want to voice it aloud. It might make it seem more real that way and I really don't want it to.
Then I would just be reaffirming my negative, guilty, selfish thinking. I've been working hard to do away with that.
I need to push away all my sad, wallowing, misunderstood, self-pitying nonsense that I've believed for far too long.
I'm being positive! I'm being confident! I am the creator of my life!
I feel cheered up already.
I've been taking a Photoshop class and I'm having fun playing with all the different things I've learned. I think that might become my new emergency, make-me-happy, feel-good activity.

Times sure change quickly. When I was younger, my idea of a good time was pretty uncompli- cated. Climbing trees, making forts in the backyard, jumping on the trampoline, kiddie rides at Lagoon....
Things were much more simple back then. The biggest stresses in my life were missing cartoons or being sent to my room because I didn't wash the dishes.
School was a walk, so I didn't really ever have to worry about that. My basic objective in life was to do whatever I needed to get Mom off my back, and then play the day away.
Sounds pretty typical kid right?
And of course, like all kids, you can't wait to grow up. You want to be able to do all the cool stuff adults do. You like the freedom of being little, but you don't want to be a kid anymore.
You want people to treat you older, with respect. You want to drive, to have money, to do whatever you want without people telling you what to do.
But, you don't want the obligatory responsibilities that come along with all the grown-up perks. It's sort of a conundrum. Most people are left wanting the best of both worlds.
I admit, I fall into that category. I feel like I'm at the age where you're stuck in the middle of both. I still have opportunities to play and still be a kid, but I also have responsibilties that I don't always want.
I still have fun, but life isn't as carefree as it used to be.
I miss the days when on any given Saturday, you'd know I'd have spent the whole morning watching cartoons. It makes me sad to know that those days are over.

Part of me doesn't want to grow up. Like on Peter Pan. I want to stay a kid forever.
I remember the day when I was too tall to ride the little blue boats at Lagoon.
I cried. I loved that ride.
But I must admit, I don't think I'd get quite the same thrill out of riding those boats as I used to. Now days I need a real boat. Speed, adrenaline, grown-up fun.
Now my kind of adventures are waterskiing and trying out the Skycoaster at Lagoon. (I did it for the first time last Saturday! What a thrill!)
I suppose all I can do is just make the most of it. I can't slow time, I can't stop the clock. I might as well enjoy life as it comes, taking the good and the bad.
Ya, I might have to hold down a job and do things that I just don't want to, but at least I know that a good boating trip is just around the corner.